Intimacy issues in relationships can lead to fear of becoming too close to others physically and emotionally. Having intimacy issues doesn’t always mean that you don’t want intimacy in your life. It may also mean that you are craving hard for intimacy. Still, your fear is holding you back and making things complicated between you and your partner. Having intimacy issues in marriage is also quite common, and you and your partner can overcome these issues together.
Causes of Intimacy Issues
Fear of Abandonment
The one who fears abandonment constantly worries that their partner will leave them someday. It can happen if one has had such an unpleasant experience in the past, as they have lost someone close, maybe a parent.
Fear of Engulfment
These people are afraid of being dominated and controlled by their partners. They worry about losing themselves in a relationship. Those who grew up in an enmeshed family often tend to develop this fear in the future.
Anxiety Disorder
Anxiety Disorders like social phobia, social anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder can give birth to intimacy issues. Those afraid of others’ judgment, rejection, and humiliation make it difficult for them to participate actively in an intimate relationships and make personal connections.
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Unfortunately, if someone has been through sexual abuse while they were mere children, they grow up to be quite disturbed when it comes to emotional and sexual relationships. In some cases, it’s not easy for them to get aroused; thus, they see sex as an obligation. When they feel an intimate touch, they feel negative emotions like anger, disgust, or guilt. They display inappropriate sexual behaviors and face problems like pain and erectile dysfunction.
Signs of Fear of Intimacy
Problems in Sexual Relationship
It is one of the most common signs of fear of intimacy in a woman. Having difficulties while getting intimate with your partner is a big problem. Some people try to completely avoid physical intimacy, while others crave intimacy throughout the day.
Expressing Needs
The person going through intimacy issues may feel it hard to express their needs and wishes to their partner. They undermine themselves and believe that they do not deserve their partner’s support.
Fear of Commitment
When a relationship starts getting deeper and close, then people with a fear of commitment make things fall out of place. Some people fear committing to one person and getting deeply attached to them. Thus, this fear leads to serial dating and short-term relationships.
Social Isolation and Depression
Many people with intimacy issues will impose social isolation on themselves. They start avoiding others and spend time alone, overthinking, and getting depressed. They also get involved in recreational drugs and alcohol a lot.
Sabotaging Relationship
People with a high level of intimacy issues will unknowingly find tons of ways to sabotage their relationship. They start irritable habits like playing blame games, nitpicking, being critical, getting unnecessary suspicions, etc. They will seem unlovable at times, and you will need a lot of patience to deal with them.
Overcome Intimacy Issues
Determine Your Goals
Here, we are talking about relationship goals and other goals in your life and a bigger purpose in your life than a romantic relationship. If you get too attached to a person, then keep checking your relationship goals and what you want in the long term. Don’t hesitate to break any relationship that is a hurdle between you and your dream.
Communicate Openly
If you are in a romantic relationship, then be open with them. Talk about your fears, dreams, desires, and feelings. Be clear about your boundaries with them. Let them know what triggers your anxiety and discuss how you can overcome these issues together. Also, be a dedicated listener while they are sharing their thoughts and feelings with you.
Cut Some Slack
No one is perfect, so there is room for mistakes and imperfections. If your partner makes any error, don’t stick to it, and also, there is no need to be critical about it. Focus on the bigger picture and maintain a long-term relationship in any situation.
Have Self-Compassion
It would be best if you were comfortable with yourself. Stop self-criticism and blaming yourself, as these won’t do any good. Be aware of your own worth. When you realize what the other person will lose if they lose you, rejection and abandonment become easy to handle.
Being aware of these points regarding intimacy issues in relationships wil help you act more maturely with your partner. Remember that you and your partner are in this together. So you need to see both of you as a team and then fight the problem.