A relationship with an emotionally immature partner gets frustrating and difficult to handle with time. They tend to be self-centered, insecure, unable to manage conflict, and sometimes even narcissistic, all of which can result in challenging relationships. You can identify some signs of an emotionally immature partner with ease.
However, you can help your partner be more emotionally mature if they’re willing to change.
Why Does Maturity Matter in Love?
We have this false assumption that any person we love is the perfect person for us, but that’s not true. Suppose you’re seeking a long-term monogamous relationship. In that case, you need to be selective in the people you make your life a success with.
It’s all about maturity. We must look for those who are aware of themselves and their desires. They should also be in tune with our desires and values. When we settle for immature partners in our lives, we set ourselves up for disaster.
An immature partner in a relationship might seem fun for a short time; however, true love requires more than that to bloom. Making plans for the future with such a partner is going to be unstable and full of challenges.
Dealing with an Emotionally Immature Partner
Emotional maturity can be built over time through practice and perseverance. If you observe that your partner is showing indications of emotional insanity, this could be something that they could tackle. If you realize that there is something you’d like to alter or improve on, you can make changes. There are a variety of ways you can attempt to make your relationship with them better.
Identify the Issue
It’s almost entirely the responsibility of your partner to make this first step. Suppose they’re in the right or encouraging setting (created in your presence), along with the consistent reminder of your being there for them through whatever situation they’re in. In that case, They may be able to recognize there’s an issue that requires being addressed.
One way to help them could be to see a psychologist to provide them with the emotional maturity treatment they require.
Practice Self-care
The immaturity of your partner could impact both of you. You should encourage them to engage in self-care activities that can help them deal with anxiety and mood swings.
You can use some self-care as well. The practice of taking care of yourself will make a huge difference in your relationship.
Discuss Their Upbringing
It is important to know why your partner behaves that way. It could relate to their environment or the way their parents treated them. Even some trauma or instability during their childhood, addiction, or mental health issues that are not treated can impact their behavior.
Such discussion can help in understanding their character more clearly. Be respectful to them because starting such a conversation might seem strange. If they take it the wrong way, you might get into a new argument with them since they are not good at handling conflicts.
Stop Enabling Them
Negative behavior sticks with a person because they are strengthened. When you encourage something, such as an undesirable behavior, you use external stimuli to bolster the reaction. Though it’s most likely not intentional, being spoilt and sheltered ensures that your loved one can receive the things they desire and need. Even if they had a temper, they’d still receive a reward, and this would eventually reinforce their behavior.
The good thing is the fact that operant conditioning can be re-learned by using two other concepts – extinction and punishment for stopping certain behavior. For punishment, you’d have to take drastic action in order to force them to behave the way you want them to or take away their rights. When you eliminate them, you take away the triggers to reduce the behavior.
If you refuse to give in to their demands, they will eventually stop behaving that way. They realize that unacceptable behavior will have consequences.
Set Boundaries
Set boundaries for yourself and make them clear. Recommend your partner to follow the same.
Boundaries can help establish healthy expectations and help prevent the manipulation of emotions or dependence on each other.
Spend Quality Time
Spend time together frequently and do the things that both of you enjoy. The time you spend together can help you build an emotional connection and allow them to control their emotions once more. Concentrate your efforts on restoring the emotional intimacy of your relationship.
Display Emotional Maturity
Be a role model and demonstrate the maturity of your emotions in your actions. Be compassionate, practice active listening, be accountable for your actions, and be sure to communicate your requirements and limits clearly. Your companion may be able to learn from your example and start to mimic better emotional reactions.
Step Back
Step back when things seem out of your control and you do need to watch out for yourself. Suppose you’ve tried everything and even got your partner to visit an expert (and it’s not working). In that case, it’s wise that your relationship might need to end.
Keeping an eye on your physical and mental health is vital. Therefore, packing your luggage and leaving an emotionally immature partner is totally fine.
Conclusion
Emotional immaturity is the ability to control our emotions and accept complete accountability for our choices. In the end, regardless of how difficult it is to talk to our partner, it is their responsibility to realize that their behavior requires change.
Remember that you deserve the right to enjoy a caring and positive relationship with a person who is a true friend and not one who you’ll be alone with.