Getting married can fill you up with tons of different feelings, from excitement to nervousness. You want to ensure that the one you’re choosing to share your life with is perfect for you.
There is no doubt that there are many things you’ll learn about your partner in the future, but before you make your final decision, here are some crucial things to know before marriage so you can have a better understanding.
Finance can often be a key cause of tension between couples. Thus, have a thorough conversation about it beforehand. You don’t want to see him struggle with paying bills on time but partying three nights a week. Finance is definitely a big sore spot for a lot of couples. Talk about your plans for tackling debt, saving, and smart spending. Learn about his major financial goals and priorities for spending.
It’s fine if you or he is still struggling with career choices prior to getting married. Both of your career objectives will play an important part in the future. Careers can lead our lives in a variety of directions. In general, we spend more time at work than with our spouses, which is why it’s not uncommon for work to become the main subject of conversation at home. Also, be open about your own career goals and dreams. You can see how he feels about your goals from this conversation.
The other person’s love language is one of the most vital things to know before marriage. Sometimes, we make decisions in love, like cooking dinner, doing the dishes, or buying random gifts for them, but they miss acknowledging these efforts. This could be because your partner likes to feel affection in a different way, like words of affection or spending extra time with them. Talk to them and learn about their favorite love languages. It is likely that you will be able to see your partner’s behavior from an entirely different angle. Thus, you can keep the romance on and avoid conflict even after several years.
Need for Alone Time
Everyone needs time alone. However, some people require much more. If you’re not sure that time alone is a common need for someone else, you might believe that they’re unresponsive or angry in their search for some space. It’s important to establish early that you both require solitude time, and the way that it manifests will not only improve your relationship but also keep you from any confusion later on.
Thoughts on Kids
Although you may not be yet ready to have kids yet your partner may be excited for them. Perhaps you’re ready now, but your partner is keen to hold off for a while. This could cause some tension, and it isn’t easy to compromise on something so large. Take your time and reach a common agreement beforehand since having a kid can change a lot of things scaringly fast. Also, learn his views on how many kids he would like to have in the future.
At a wedding, household chores can be a major reason behind arguments. Even the marriage that started with equality in household work witnessed gender stereotypes slowly seeping in over time. Ask him about which household chores he enjoys doing and how you can manage the entire home with combined efforts as a team.
Thoughts on Handling Fertility Issues
It’s normal to assume that there won’t be any difficulty in having babies in the future. The good news is you are probably right, and there is a low chance of facing fertility issues. Although, it is wise to talk about it as it can be devastating news in the future. Learn his views on how he would like to handle the situation and what measures he would like to take. Though both of your perspectives might change with time, once and if you’re actually in the position discussing it beforehand will help ensure that you’re approaching the process as a group.
Good & Bad Traits
Sure, you have a great time with your spouse but do you truly appreciate them not because of their shortcomings or because of their faults? It’s easy for you to ignore negative characteristics when there are many positive traits. We’ve all experienced this. However, before you are married, acknowledging the difference, being understanding, and accepting the flaws of your partner are essential.
You need to be able, to be honest about your weaknesses and let your spouse speak about theirs in an open and open-minded setting. So, when a problem arises, you’ll be able to strive to work on improving each other’s shortcomings which will improve your relationship over the longer term.
In the process of creating the foundation of a fresh family unit, it’s essential to establish boundaries with regard to relatives. While being close with families is enjoyable, it can also create challenges later on, particularly when you and your partner’s family members don’t have a common eye. You are not just accepting the person but his whole family. Thus having deep conversations about families is essential.
Talking with your partner prior to getting married about these important concerns and making sure your desires, wants, and expectations match with each other will ensure that you’re going into married life to be on the best possible foot. Spend some time, ask questions, listen and then discuss.